First Draft - Writer's Workshop Step 3
Writing for Life, Change and Heart: Editing is hunting for gems.
Welcome to the final opening First Draft Writers’ Workshop. Find all the rest at First Draft - From the Start.
Here we go:
Editing is hunting for gems.
Last time, during Step 2, you wrote a story in which you got to meet your Hero, your Villain and your Muse.
Now, the question isn’t, “Is it good?” The question is, “What in it is good?” Editing is not asking, “What do I know?” but “What did I write?” Somewhere in between lies the world of fairies, magic and pain.
Reread your draft start to finish, without stopping, without changing anything, and without making any marks. Then, answer the following questions in 60 second timed free writes. (Don’t stop. Don’t edit. Just keep that pen moving.):
1. Who is your character, now, really?
2. What does he want? What won’t he stop till he gets?
3. Who opposes him, really?
4. What does he want? What won’t he stop till he gets?
5. Who will win, and why?
6. What does your muse have anything to do with it for?
Next, scan your scene for three things that every scene benefits from: the Wallpaper, the Prop and the Blinkie (HT: Holly Lilse, three things every scene really can’t do without. If you don’t have them, or don’t know what they are, get ready, because we’re going to add and embelish them now:
There is Always a Gun
There is always a gun, and that gun must be fired. There is always a storm coming, and we ought to take shelter.
The reader wants to work for you. He’s hungry to be led astray by the mystery of your tale. “Show! Don’t tell!” the grammarians shout. But it’s associative thinking that we are after, not brute logic.
This means that the scenes in your story will always give easy handholds to your reader when there is good Wallpaper, a notable Prop, and a sensational Blinkie. The simple, repeatable path to creating memorable moments without boring the reader with overlong descriptions, is to ever notice one thing in the background, one thing in the way, and one thing on it’s own.
1. The Wallpaper is in the background. It is something that will not likely be mentioned again. It can be seen, smelt, heard or felt, described in deep and stunning detail, or mentioned cavalierly. It doesn’t matter how pretty or poetic you are. It just needs to be there. Wallpaper can be a lot of fun to design, but no one likes to sit and stare at it for long. Most scenes need only a dash, so wole than one mention per paragraph.
Example: (Draft 1) “In the cabbage field, Edgar ran for his life.”
Example: (Draft 2) “Edgar would run out of breath soon. His feet tripped over the cabbages.”
Example: (Draft 3) “Edgar’s breath caught in his throat as he stumbled over the cabbages.”
2. The Prop is in the way. It is an item or person that your hero may or may not engage with. But this choice is a pivot point that altars the pathline of the story. It doesn’t matter how pretty or poetic you are. It just needs to be there. If your hero doesn’t shoot the gun, your reader will imagine that someone else certainly will!
Example: (Draft 1) “He leapt the gate with a single bound, hand planting firmly on the top post.”
Example: (Draft 2) “Palming the rough beam of the gate, his booted feet hung heavy in the air before landing with a thud and at a run.”
Example: (Draft 3) “Palming the rough beam, his booted feet hung heavy above the gate before thudding into his desperate run.”
3. The Blinkie is on its own. It is strictly flavor. It’s the squirrel for your reader to chase, the sweet aroma of incense that spices your story stew. It doesn’t matter how pretty or poetic you are. All the Blinkie has to do is move.
Example: (Draft 1) “From the corner of his eye he saw the sun crawling its last few breaths down the horizon.”
Example: (Draft 2) “That was when he, out of the corner of his eye, saw it.”
Example: (Draft 3) “That was when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw it.”
What did I get?
My first draft, was meh. Pretty vanilla. But it’s really not bad. Editing meant searching for what was good and polishing it up. In the end that meant cutting the end sequence. That’s OK. I like cliffhangers much better anyway.
Edgar’s breath caught in his throat as he stumbled over the cabbages. Palming the rough beam, his booted feet hung heavy above the gate before thudding into his desperate run. That was when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw it.
It goes to show that it doesn’t even matter if your heart is in it or if you have a story you know that you want to tell. This isn’t the real Edgar at all. But adding a dash of Wallpaper, Prop and Blinkie to a made-up scene silences that nasty inner grammarian and leaves open a bunny trail of first draft gemstones for you to discover, polish up, and set finely in a greater story later.
Here’s your prompt:
Now, with Wallpaper, Prop & Blinkie Theory well in hand, set aside your notes from last time entirely. You can take one look, but that’s all. Then, free-rewrite the entire original scene, but from scratch.
Cling to what you remember from your short glance. Reference your answers to Questions 1-6 from above before you start, but once you start writing try not to stop. Make sure to fix your Wallpaper, your Prop and your Blinkie firm in mind ahead of time.
From there, change as little or as much as you like. Don’t try too hard. That’s no fun. You’ve been here before. This is like going home.
Once you’ve finished, sit back and congratulate yourself. You just wrote a complete and lightly polished scene. I am certain of it.
Now, what happens next?
That is all it takes. Do it again. Do it on purpose. Stitch the scenes in sequence with an inner thought our two. Books are built of many such scenes, fueled by the rigger to write them down, and then write them down again at least once more, time.
Go.
I don’t know when the next installment of First Draft will be out. There is much more I can say, and I’ve only scratched the surface. But there are also many other good irons in the fire. Still, I want to help you finish your story almost as much as I want to finish my own. So don’t forget that on the Dark Shore Universe, the #chapel-of-superiority is, among other things, a functioning writers’ combine waiting for your use. Share your work there, tag me. I’ll give you personal feedback, and others will too. Link to this article, share your notes and get bonus points!