Reign in, with and under Jesus Christ
A Field Guide for Men Called to Lead Without Shame
“The husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is head of the Church.”
(Ephesians 5:23)
We are at war. It is a war on mankind, a war against order and covenant, a war against itself.
You are dangerous. You are authorized. You are not here to be subjected to those under you.
Mutiny, rightly understood, is abuse from below. Black/White/Brown American males tend to fall into one of two traps regarding this:
The Cornered Animal: Harsh, reactive, self-serving, insecure
The Hiding Ghost: Silent, passive, guilt-ridden, pliable
Both are distortions of manhood. Both are curved-inward, fractured souls. Both are redeemed from the bipolar spectrum of folly by Christ alone, He, the greater Predator, the better-than “third” way.
The Son
A man who rules himself for peace, with weight and clarity, mercy and fire, is to expect fear and distraction from demons, love and inspiration from the faithful, and the cross of discipline/discipleship/faith-as-trusting trial and ordeal as the gift of salvation, now, from The Father.
Take up your cross and find your crown and sword as one Word, one Voice, one School—united.
1. Christ’s Rule Begins with Obedience
“I do nothing on my own authority, but speak just as the Father taught me.” (John 8:28)
Before Christ led anyone, He was fully submitted to His Father. If you try to lead your home without kneeling daily to Christ, your rule will be twisted—either into passivity or domination.
Ask:
Am I under discipline?
Do I know the Word?
Do I pray with my family?
Do I fear God more than my wife’s X?
Rightful rule flows from rightful submission.
2. Christ’s Rule Is Clear and Unflinching
“Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.” (Matt. 5:37)
Christ never mumbled. He never apologized for setting boundaries. He spoke with clarity, urgency, and certainty. To rule well, words must mean something.
Not vague. Not flexible. Not contingent on others’ moods.
Truth speaks plainly:
“We’re going to church.”
“No, we won’t watch that.”
“This is discipline.”
“I am your husband.”
Leadership that bends to pressure is not leadership.
3. Christ’s Rule Is Self-Giving, Not Self-Serving
“The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” (John 10:11)\
Christ did not lead to be admired. He led to lay down His life. This doesn’t mean being passive. It means taking full responsibility for the spiritual climate, moral direction, and emotional health of your home.
You take the hits. You take the lead. You take the burden.
Not because she demands it. But because God gives it. In real time. As you life.
If no one follows, you pray more.
This is joy.
This is the way of the Master.
If something’s off in your household—start with yourself. Not to take the blame, but to take the lead. Not to call yourself the cause, but to believe that in the end He is. Not to be alone, but to remember that you never are.
4. Christ’s Rule Confronts When Needed
Christ rebuked His disciples. He overturned tables. He warned a divisive man once, then twice, and no more. He looked Peter in the eye. He knew what Mary Magdalene was capable of.
American men of everyone, but most of all their own females, and the proof is in tone, tremors and tears.
Tears are not trauma. Jesus wept. Conviction lands as good grief.
“Those whom I love, I rebuke and discipline.” (Rev. 3:19)
Say true things—even if they are called, “mean.” It is the man’s job to set the tone:
“The way that was said is disrespectful.”
“Rolling one’s eyes in not a sign of honor.”
“This conversation is about emotion rather than my intended plans and prayers for the family.”
Such Alpha Primacy is not cruelty. It is covenantal clarity. It is being a Man of Peace.
5. Christ’s Rule Doesn’t Beg for Respect
Christ never chased the Pharisees. He did not ask Judas to stay. He did not whine for attention. To be free from the tyranny of the moment, you must let go of your need for validation: not just female validation, but all praise of men, of which your personal female’s unique vanity is the worst possible, personal barometers.
That is the curse of woman. Not leadership—but co-dependency. Not, “He will lead,” but, “We will agree.” Not, “I shall learn to like it,” but, “I see,” but, “Why should I?”
Those who walk away from your calm confidence do not walk away from you. They walk away from their fears projected onto you. You? \
You stand.
Flinching?
Alive.
6. Christ’s Rule is Measured by Fruit, Not Feelings
Your job is not to keep her happy.
Your job is to guard the garden of her womb as the embryo of your peoples’ faith in God. You are to cultivate order, virtue, peace, and reverence for The Father.
You will not always be thanked for this. You will not always be good at this.
Soldier, keep on marching on.
Scatter the Seed. Tend your Nets. You may know not how it dose, but the Fruit will Grow:
A wife who is protected.
Children who are under God.
A hearth that is not its own altar.
7. Christ’s Rule is Glory
“Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name…”(Phil. 2:9)
The world crucified Christ. The Father exalted Him. To rule like Christ is to walk with God—unashamed, unflinching, sacrificial in praise,—no matter the color of the cross.
Someone will hate you. Someone will mock you. Someone will leave you.
You’re still going to rise.
Men of God will rise with you. Your story will be told. Your God will vindicate you.
Your crown is already given.
This one has a depth to it. Also, a fire to it.